Feminism & Men Going Their Particular Ways

In my case …let me tell you this, it will take a while…I had quite a few problems….My family carried a lot of post war trauma with them, especially my father.  He just wanted me off his hands the minute I turned 18.  But i had only migrated three years before and I was way out of my depth.  I developed chronic fatigue syndrome due to my extreme stress and being culturally out of my depth.  When I left university and got my first full time job, I was mobbed in such a way that My body broke down again and I could not digest solid foods, without a lot of digestive pain.  I eventually aimed to simplify my life and moved back in with my parents.  Then my father began bullying me again.  He knew only one way to act, and that was in terms of military attitudes and a demand for conformity.  I did try to get some outside help, but it seemed I could not articulate the problem in a way that would bring my cause any sympathy.  I had to recover from my physical set back on my own and try and build a philosophy to inhabit, so that I could make sense of the world again.  During this time, a lot of people piled on my case and accused me of being a typical female persona, because I had encountered difficulties.  They implied that my circumstances had been caused by my gender and that I was to blame.   This was also my father’s view in quite a few ways, since he felt hard done by because his mother had not given him enough emotional care during his early years.  For some reason he seemed to blame his failures in life on women, including, from what I can surmise, his loss of home and country, which was a hard hit.  He kept blaming me for everything and for not helpng him to adapt to the new country (I was like his mother, who was failing him all over again).  And, every time I tried to get people to come over onto my side, by telling them that this was a gender issue, because obviously it was from my father’s perspective, I was labelled as an evil feminist who was just out to cause trouble.

As a result of people not believing me it took me MUCH LONGER to recover than it ought to have, and I lost the opportunty to build a career for myself.

So I am not minimising your problems at all. I’ve been there, only on the opposite side of the fence.

I just think that shamanic types need to steer clear of politics organised around gender issues, because from my experience these do not address the core problems, but only make things worse.  I got no help from feminists, who were not interested in understanding my situation.  They were trying to gain power and status for themselves.  I believe that the MGTOW movement is very similar to this, since it throws around a lot of accusations against women in general and so makes it harder for people like me to be believed. 


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