This obstruction may be very common with contemporary Westerners, who focus primarily on the middle level of being, where ego is situated.
In my case, my obstruction was at the higher levels of being, where God is typically situated. There doesn’t even have be a belief in a higher being for this obstruction to occur at this level.
All indications are that God-level obstructions are not recognised by Western people very well if at all, since nearly all of their own emotional energies are directed toward the middle level, where they socially relate and compete against each other laterally.
The Infantry Stage* is a product of God-level anxieties. It has nothing to do with what other people may be thinking or whether they are disappointed or not.
When I speak of “Superego shamanism”, I am referring to the remedies that one can master to counteract the obstructions that cause one to remain fixated at the Infantry Stage. If you are not at the Infantry Stage at all, or if you never have been, you will not understand Bataille’s severe remedies and appeal to violence (to free you from violence). You are a different sort of person who has a style of development with knots appearing nearly only at the middle level.
* “Infantry means marching around and taking orders for fear of eternal shame and a dishonorable death should one not do so.