How I Deconstruct Narrative. | THE PSYCHO LINGUIST

How I Deconstruct Narrative. | THE PSYCHO LINGUIST

I have made very, very similar paradigms with similar conclusions.  I remember thinking that actually the answer I had been looking for to judge fair communication was a simple as what I teach in ESL.  If somebody is not responding to the content of your conversation, but simply goes on to talk about something else, that’s a danger signal that something has gone wrong.  Socratic dialogues.

Also the mirroring.  I fell upon that idea when I realized that sometimes others want to act as if they have something to say to you, in particular a harsh criticism of something one may or may not have done, but they are merely opportunists who cannot back up what they are inclined to say with any clear thought structure of their own.  You need to resist their thoughts unless they can show they have substance, so the best way is to mirror their thoughts back to them.  “You see me as [fill in the blank].”  Often there is projection involved too, as someone might choose an adjective for me that I cannot relate to.  It probably mirrorso how they see themselves.  Finally, if someone becomes really aggressive you can more actively mirror back their attitude toward you, but this is rarely necessary as they have usually gone by then.

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