In the trenches of the deepest part of the DNOTS, suicidal feelings are not uncommon. That is simply aspects of your consciousness that have been healed and wish to move on. Since the soul usually moves on during death, these suicidal feelings are nothing more than that: feelings. So get through them and know that they are a natural part of it. Facing death is a thing you must do and it’s not that you yourself that wants to die, it’s just the healed aspects and your old self that wants to die. That’s old business so cry it out and move on. And don’t reach for a razor blade or shotgun or a fistful of pills. I can’t stress enough how powerful these feelings might be so just let them play out and remain calm. They will pass and you will feel better once that is cleared.