How To Overcome Feelings Of Hatred

When people are seeking their wholeness, they desire the world to enter into something very, very akin to the unity between a mother and child prior to the birth of the child or shortly afterwards.   The mother and child couplet form the whole world for the child, since nothing is outside of this primeval unity, where one is the care-giver and the other is the recipient being nourished by pure love and mother’s milk.   Hatred comes from disappointment that one has not been able to restore one’s primeval unity with the world.  Melanie Klein describes this as the syndrome of the “bad breast”.When the “child” (in this case, someone seeking primeval wholeness) does not receive the nurturing they expect from the world, instead of saying, “there just wasn’t something there for me”, they say, “there is a breast there but it is a bad breast, denying me nourishment.”  The “good breast” gives nourishment but the denial of nourishment causes pain, so it seems “bad”.  Of course it is very, very immature to reason in this way, but we all carry with us some of this tendency, especially to the extent that we may have been radically deprived of different sorts of important nourishment in the past, and to the extent that we have not developed knowledge and kindness toward others.

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