I spent many years trying to adjust to ego based society. I studied it. I determined it was ego based. And to some extent I managed to mimic it, although I could never bring myself to believe that this was all there really was to other people who lived according to their egos. Then I read Black Sunlight and got in touch completely with another lower layer of being — the underground stream of our psyches. I realized that this was far more satisfying and true to life than trying to adapt to what Westerners wanted me to adapt to.