shamanic recovery

If there are still people, today, confused by the Judeo-Christian ideology concerning original sin and how this constructs an ideology of narcissism, I think it important to make clear that focusing on the self is not the same as pathological narcissism.

I suddenly have a recollection about how there was a prolonged period in my life when I was significantly deprived of emotional resources to sustain myself. This had to do with being uprooted politically, historically and socially, in mid-adolescence and starting again in a different land under very different circumstances. After years of listlessness and failed attempts to find my way, I eventually alighted upon the method of directing all my available recourses to myself. I felt it necessary to save my own life, as people were becoming increasingly hostile toward me due to my failures and I had to do something as a matter of exteme urgency.

I shut down all other circuits and directed all my energy to getting engine thrust, so I could counteract the forces that were drawing me down toward the ultimate crash. That was deliberate selfishness on my part. But bear in mind that the energies I drew on were my own and that I did not attempt to plug into others to divert their energies into myself. That would have been totally against my ethics and my belief in developing a self worthy of survival.


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