What is right with the West? Well, there is the social security system, without which I would surely have been turned into a very broken woman by now. Reading between the lines of various fragmented pieces of information which have filtered across my way, my father’s extreme misogyny was not an isolated feature within my extended family. On my father’s side of the family, a vicious kind of misogynistic outlook predominates. At least two of my female cousins have been persecuted upon reaching puberty, to the point where they ran away from home and were depicted as “wild” and “out of control”. Now, piecing together the psychology of this matter from afar — I was also depicted as being both “wild” and “out of control” upon my advent of puberty.
In reality, though, I became an rather introverted around this time — even quieter than I had previously been. The basis of this formulation was completely imaginary. My family noticed my subtle physical development even before I did, and had proceeded to attribute all sorts of evil and malice to the physical state of being. So, I was shy and relatively socially disengaged and was still accused of being wild and out of control. The discrepancy between what I was accused of being and what I was actually like was always palpably obvious to me. Yet, what kind kind of anguish and self-doubt must my female cousins experienced — as they were surely much more socially precocious than I. What hatred made them run away from their homes at an early age?
The persecution I experienced lasted a long time, and did take a toll on my health. I surely would have been driven to madness (or more likely, to a complete breakdown in health) had I had to rely upon my parents for financial support whilst they were intent on viewing me in a hostile light.
It was the social security system of the first world which gave me a fighting chance to live a healthy and productive life despite the third world traditions which led to my victimization.
Exploring Black Sunlight, psychology, politics and history and how these intertwine 
And further to this: “They made it impossible for me to succeed and then branded me as a failure.”–I would say that I was supposed to fulfil an important psychological role in my family — the “sick role”. This role is a kind of decoy regarding entrenched pathologies that others do not want to own. They can say, “Ahhh! The reason we are in so much pain and suffering, you know — it’s all because of our daughter. She has brought us down low and made us suffer like only the best christians are required to suffer! We are so holy! By comparison, she is so ungrateful! A veritable monster!!”–Well, I never fell into a position where I could be convincingly or effectively used in that role — although it was intended for me.
Actually “I am so long-suffering and she is so disgraceful” — this is what I heard from my parents that my grandmother said about her niece. I thought, “wow!” it was so unbelievable that she was trying to score moral points off somebody else’s suffering.