Finally, if your words cause actual damage—to the truth about what the victim is or has done—-then a mere apology is not enough. If you wrong somebody and have an effect on their reputation, saying ‘I’m sorry IF I hurt you” is not just cowardly, it’s getting off lightly. If you’re really sorry, you’ll go out there and correct every misperception, every repeated lie. ~~Ginmar
What Ginmar says is true. There is a distinct difference between many males as they see themselves and how these males actually are. For instance, the joys of bullying may be perceived by those who do it as an expression of power. Those who observe it and experience it perceive it as hollowness, an overfamiliar kind of cowardliness against those without the social or political power to fight them back on equal terms.
The dangerous side of being a bully is that you might be perceived for who and what you actually are. When this happens, the feeling that the victim previously and ignorantly entertained, (that those who are in power are there because they deserve to be), subsides. It soon becomes apparent that there is no moral superiority in those who are holding the power, but quite the opposite. This insight marks the beginning of the end for a class of cowardly bullies.
That is why those who bully play a dangerous game.They run the risk of exposing the very tenuousness nature of the threads of mystification upon which their power lives. And they do this every time they are abusive.
If you do damage, and do not fix the damage that you do, you tend to give the victims a longer time to contemplate your real status than if you fix the mess you have made in the public realm straight away. Any continuation of damaging effects (whether you anticipated them or not) also gives the victims a longer time to think about who you really are.